Focus on Friendship skills at NBCS 

Strong, healthy friendships can transform a child’s school experience and at Northern Beaches Christian School, a dedicated friendship skills program is helping students build the tools needed to navigate friendship challenges and build strong connections.

Since the Friendology program began at NBCS in 2021, Julie Smith, Head of Primary, says they have observed and tracked children navigating their friendships at school much more successfully. 

“Our data shows a decrease in children being referred to a counsellor for friendship issues over the last five years,” she said.  

The Friendology program was created by Dana Kerford from URStrong. As a primary teacher, Kerford saw in her own classroom how friendship issues affected learning and set out to empower children with friendship skills. 

Julie agrees that friendship is a big part of school. “If your friendships are in a good place, you want to come to school,” she said. “If things feel hard with friends, school is a much harder place to be.” 

A shared language

A strength of Friendology is the shared language for students, teachers and families around friendship, for example, talking about ‘friendship fires’ when things go wrong.  

“The common language helps everyone,” said Julie. “For example, when you understand that ‘No friendship is perfect, and that’s okay’, it takes the pressure off both kids and parents.” 

Embedding Friendology throughout Primary means that every student learns the same skills, right from Kindergarten. “We practice scenarios in the classroom. We use the Friendology journals which provide visual frameworks for resolving conflict and help children work through strategies,” said Julie. 

The program is even used in the playground. If children need assistance with friendships during lunch and recess, they can talk to an on-duty ‘Friendologist’, a Year 6 student who has been trained in Friendology language and skills, and who can help with strategies and ideas. Permanent posters on a playground wall display a visual ‘friend-o-meter’ and outline the ‘four friendship facts’. 

“If they still need help, they can see the teacher on duty,” said Julie. “Teachers always take it seriously. They’ll use Friendology language and go through some questions like, ‘Did you use your quick comeback?’ to help the child work out what to do next.” 

Emotional IQ

Alarna Kirby, whose children are in Primary at Northern Beaches Christian School, has seen the benefits of Friendology first-hand.  

 “When you hear the children come home and talk about a problem that they’ve had with a friend and they’re navigating it using the language of a ‘friendship fire’ and understanding the changing dynamic of friendships, it gives them an emotional IQ that they wouldn’t otherwise have,” she said.  

Tania Thompson, Counselling Team Leader at NBCS, agrees that the Friendology program provides an opportunity to foster and grow emotional intelligence.  

“It also helps students learn to discern what their ‘deal breakers’ or non-negotiables are in life,” she said. “These are conversations which for us as counsellors carry through into the teen years and give students a great foundation to think about what values are important to them in friendships.” 

Friendology makes a difference

With a large influx of new students to NBCS Primary in 2026, Julie Smith has seen the existing children’s Friendology skills demonstrated in the way they have welcomed their new classmates. “They’ve been inclusive and kind, and we’re so proud of them.” 

Julie Smith believes that every child deserves to have good, healthy relationships. “There’s no reason they can’t,” she said. “At NBCS, with Friendology, we give them the skills to do that.” 

Hear more about Friendology in Primary at Northern Beaches Christian School.