Why doesn’t God answer my prayers?

One of the most common questions we receive from students is: I asked God to help me, but I heard nothing back. Why does God not answer my prayers? 

To the students’ credit, this isn’t just a problem for them. It’s not just a problem for adults. It’s not just a problem for people who don’t believe in God. It’s a problem for Christians too. It’s a problem for any human being, no matter where they are on their faith journey. 

So, how can we respond to this? 

At the beginning of term, our staff worked through the topic: Unanswered Prayer – When God Seems Silent. We used resources from Pete Greig, who has written many books and spoken on numerous podcasts about his experience of unanswered prayer, especially in light of his wife Sammy’s diagnosis with brain tumours 20 years ago.

Greig says that most of ask: why? Why me? Why now? Why is this happening? God, why would you allow this? Unfortunately, most of us don’t get an answer to the why questions. We might someday, but that seems too far off for many of us, especially in the moment. 

Grieg proposes a better question: where? Where are you God? Scripture gives us plenty of responses to this question. Jesus promises never to leave us or forsake us (Matthew 28); God is near to all who call on him in truth (Psalm 145); He will walk with us in the darkest valleys (Psalm 23). God does not tend to airlift us out, but rather parachute in alongside us. We see this at the heart of the Christian story, where God becomes the man Jesus and engages with suffering. He is not detached, but is an empathetic God, able to resonate with the human experience (Hebrews 4). 

Despite knowing this, Grieg shares that God has not always felt near in the difficult moments. I’m sure we can all resonate with this. Yet Grieg is able to recall stories where he saw God’s hand, but only in hindsight. On one occasion, he and his wife Sammy has basically given up praying. Then, one morning, a card arrived in the mail from a church six hours away, with numerous written prayers from the congregation. Perhaps God was near? Or there were countless times when they were in hospital, down and out, and they would be ministered to by a Christian nurse. God may not have taken the pain away, but he was present in the ‘ordinary’, through the lives of others.  

When we were young, we tended to trust our parents, even if we did not understand how everything worked. As we become adults, we understand more, and the need for trust diminishes. This is a very comfortable place to be, as most things are in our control. Yet, there are actually many things out of our control, and there are many things we do not understand. And perhaps God is drawing us back to a world of childlike trust. He is not asking for blind faith (that would be foolish), but faith based on evidence so that we can experience hope. 

Damien Whitington
NBCS Senior Chaplain